Beta Max TV | B-Movies to the Max!

APRIL 19: BETA MAX TV UPDATE:

We’re still working on this mess. Thanks for your patience.

FEBRUARY 9: LATEST-ER BETA MAX TV UPDATE:

Re: shows not playing on Beta Max TV

We’ve got a handle on what the error is and where it is in the system. But getting at it and fixing it is kinda like rearranging molecules. We just got a couple tips today on a possible path to a miracle fix and a couple tips if that doesn’t work. Still no idea why all this happened to a channel that was working fine. Thanks for your patience and support!

JANUARY 16: LATEST BETA MAX TV UPDATE:

There’s good news and, well, other news. First, we’ve accomplished the operating system rebuild that Roku required AND before the deadline so Beta Max TV is alive and still available on all Roku TVs and devices! Unfortunately, for some reason, the channel is currently not working. There’s a new layout but none of the shows will run at the moment. We’re working on it and have contacted Roku tech support so hopefully we’ll have this latest issue cleared up soon, But having beat the deadline, at least Beta Max TV still exists!!! We’ll get this thing runnin’ right yet!! Stay tuned (and keep those fingers crossed!) Thanks for watching Beta Max TV!!!

JANUARY 4: BETA MAX TV UPDATE:

There are some Christmas and New Year shows finally up on Beta Max TV this week to keep the festiveness goin’! We’ll find out in the next few day if the rebuild is going to work. Stay tuned (and keep your fingers crossed!) Thanks for watching Beta Max TV!!!

JANUARY 1: HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!

(We’ll be back soon!!!)

DECEMBER 25: TO ALL OUR VIEWERS – MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!

DECEMBER 11: ANOTHER UPDATE ON BETA MAX TV

We’re still hard at work rebuilding Beta Max TV to meet the new requirements Roku is institution early next year so we can continue to bring you the best and the cheesiest in B-movies, hosted programs, and other fun bits of video from all over! Hopefully we’ll have a Christmas miracle and get fully operational before year’s end. We apologize for this unexpected delay (and for Roku unexpectedly shutting down our ability to add new material even before their announced deadline). Please stay tuned! We will return!!!

In the meantime, here’s a Christmas Hippopotomus (that thing you’ve always wanted!)

NOVEMBER 5: UPDATE ON BETA MAX TV

A couple months ago, Roku informed us that the operating system on which Beta Max TV has been running since its birth would be “sunset” in January 2024 – “sunset” being the polite term for dropped, done away with, kaput. Roku further informed us that any channels using that operating system would cease to exist after that date. Not wanting to see Beta Max TV disappear, it was our intention to rebuild Beta Max TV gradually through our busy season in plenty of time to beat the sunset date.

What Roku didn’t mention was that they would not only cease to support but cease to allow any updating of channels on our current platform waaaay before the sunset date. This is why we’ve been unable to add new shows to the channel for the past 2 weeks despite there being no problems with our channel’s operation.

So, the plan now is to dedicate the next few weeks to reconstructing Beta Max TV to comply with Roku’s new platform requirements. During this time, Beta Max TV will continue to work and provide access to the over 700 programs currently available on our channel. The only difference is we won’t be able to add new shows until our rebuild is complete. Beta Max TV on the new platform will look and work the same – providing the finest and funnest hosted shows and assorted movies, cartoons, shorts, and television shows that it has for many years now. And we’ll be able to bring you new and exciting programming each week again too! The rebuild will be completed as soon as possible – hopefully later this month. We apologize for this inconvenience and the absence of some Halloween specials we’d intended to run last month. But it’s our dedicated intention to keep Beta Max TV alive and well for all our viewers.

Thank you for your support and stay tuned!

OCTOBER 29:THERE’S NO NEED TO FEAR – HALLOWEEN IS ALMOST HERE!!!
(update on stuff going on at Beta Max TV – coming soon)

OCTOBER 25: INVISIBLE HALLOWEEN SHOWS!

It appears that the latest FRIDAY FUN-TIME FIVE and other shows have not yet surfaced on Beta Max TV despite there seemingly being no problems and Roku’s servers indicating that all the shows have been added to the channel. I’ve contacted Roku (again) to see if they can help. This sort of thing seems to be an October thru December kind of problem – and that ain’t no good! We’re sorry for the inconvenience and will keep you posted of any developments. New shows will continue to be added – and hopefully they’ll actually be visible. Thanks for your patience and thanks for supporting Beta Max TV!

OCTOBER 20: HALLOWEEN SPECIALS, PARTIES, AND FESTIVALS – OH, AND SOME BODY PARTS TOO – AS SPOOKY SCARY MONTH CONTINUES ON THIS WEEK’S FRIDAY FUN-TIME FIVE!!! (see below for details)

OCTOBER 18: JOIN THE PARTY – IT’S THE BEWARE THEATER 10TH ANNIVERSARY CELEBRATION!!! – TODAY ON Beta Max TV!!! Check out the News tab‘s top story for more details!

OCTOBER 16: DO THE ZOMBIE WALK! – TODAY ON Beta Max TV!!! Check out the News tab‘s top story for more details!

OCTOBER 13: FREAKY FRIDAY (THE 13TH) FRIGHTS ON THIS WEEK’S FRIDAY FUN-TIME FIVE!!! (see below for details)

OCTOBER 11: A MUSEUM OF BLOOD AND GORE ON A SPECIAL HALLOWEEN EPISODE OF THE DUNGEON OF DR. DRECK – TODAY ON Beta Max TV!!! Check out the News tab‘s top story for more details!

OCTOBER 9: ZOMBIE MARTIANS, A BRIGHTLY COLORED GHOST AND HALLOWEEN CANDY ON THIS WEEK’S DON’S BREAKFAST SERIAL ON Beta Max TV!!! Check out the News tab‘s top story for more details!

OCTOBER 6: A CACOPHONOUS COLLECTION OF CREEPINESS AND COMEDY FILLS THIS FIRST WEEK’S FEATURES FOR OUR SPOOKY SCARY MONTH FRIDAY FUN-TIME FIVE!!! (see below for details)

OCTOBER 2: THIS AIN’T JACK AND JILL’S HILL! GET SOME HAUNTED (AND HALLOWEEN) STUFF WITH ARACHNA IN THIS WEEK’S BEWARE THEATER ON Beta Max TV!!! Check out the News tab‘s top story for more details!

OCTOBER 2: THE SHEET’S HIT THE FAN – KICKING OFF SPOOKY SCARY MONTH WITH THE GHOST ON A MURDEROUS MONDAY FROM Beta Max TV!!! Check out the News tab‘s top story for more details!

SEPTEMBER 29: DEADLY ALIENS, MURDERS, TREACHERY, AND LOTS OF LAUGHS – THIS WEEK IN THE FRIDAY FUN-TIME FIVE!!! (see below for details)

SEPTEMBER 27: A CRYPT OF TERROR AND MAYBE NO HALLOWEEN – JOIN THE FRIGHTS ON THE DUNGEON OF DR. DRECK TODAY ON Beta Max TV!!! Check out the News tab‘s top story for more details!

SEPTEMBER 22: COPS AND CRITTERS – THIS WEEK IN THE FRIDAY FUN-TIME FIVE!!! (see below for details)

AUGUST 10: PROGRAMMING NOTE

Due to a major computer issue, some shows will be delayed. We’ll get some new fun stuff on Beta Max TV as soon as we can (hopefully by the weekend). We apologize for any inconvenience or horror-host withdrawal. To help ease the pain, here’s a cute sleeping beagle! Thanks for watching Beta Max TV!!!

FEBRUARY 24 – BETA MAX TV UPDATE – WELCOME VIEWERS IN THE UNITED KINGDOM!!!

Beta Max TV is proud to announce that we are now available on Roku TVs and devices all over the United Kingdom!!! Simply search for BetaMaxTV in the channel store or on your Roku device and choose “add channel” It’s free!!!

Now all our friends across the big pond can enjoy our collection of over 700 hosted programs, classic, cult, and forgotten movies, TV shows, animation and independent programs like viewers all over the U.S.A and Canada have access to! And we’ll be adding new shows soon! Tell all your UK friends the good news!

WELCOME UNITED KINGDOM!!!

Thanks for watching and supporting Beta Max TV!!!

SEPTEMBER 28 – BETA MAX TV UPDATE – WELCOME CANADA!!!First, because of some system modifications and updates, the Wednesday feature will not appear today. But…Beta Max TV is proud to announce that we are now available on Roku TVs and devices all over Canada!!! Simply search for BetaMaxTV in the channel store or on your Roku device and choose “add channel”

Now all our friends north of the border can enjoy the hundreds of hosted programs, and classic, cult, and forgotten movies, TV shows, animation and independent programs viewers all over the U.S.A have access to – and just in time for our Spooky Scary Month programming that kicks off this Friday! And to celebrate, we’ll be adding a brand new episode of Beware Theater on Thursday! Tell all your Canadian friends the good news!

WELCOME CANADA!!!

Thanks for watching and supporting Beta Max TV!!!

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THE FRIDAY FUN-TIME FIVES!!!

FRIDAY, OCTOBER 20, 2023

HALLOWEEN SPECIALS, PARTIES, AND FESTIVALS – OH, AND SOME BODY PARTS TOO – AS SPOOKY SCARY MONTH CONTINUES ON THIS WEEK’S FRIDAY FUN-TIME FIVE!!!

We’ve got parties and festivals and lots of special Halloween stuff on this week’s Beta Max TV FRIDAY FUN-TIME FIVE!

The Vault is decorated and Uncle Pete‘s busy creating for UNCLE PETE’S DARK VAULT HALLOWEEN SPECIAL! Uncle Pete and the gang are getting their costumes ready for Halloween with a feature presentation of Dracula Vs. Frankenstein (1970) about aliens reviving dead monsters to conquer Earth. Plus there’s Betty Boop’s Halloween, Flip the Frog in a haunted house and a Halloween short from 1953!

It’s time for the biggest Halloween party of the year in Beaucoup Askew’s Fashion Trashin HALLOWEEN SPOOKTACULAR 2! Cinnamon and Diamond host a spooky star-studded Halloween bash but no one shows up so they watch some Halloween treats on TV. Plus, there’s a visit from Dante Flambee, satanic meteorologist, with talk about the apocalypse.

Then it’s outside in the dead of night for a festival in the state with the second most haunted houses in the country (Ohio) for PLANET OF THE VAMPIRES on The Midnight Movie. Triv and the gang wander thru Halloweekend some more for this 1965 Italian film about astronauts looking for missing members of an earlier mission on a planet inhabited by invisible creatures reanimating the dead.

Then is a special! It’s a thingy! It’s both as the Marquis DeBlood brings you the SPECIAL HALLOWEEN THINGY on The Horror Of It All’s Silent Screams. The Marquis celebrates Halloween with the film The Magician (1926). A magician/alchemist, seeking to create life, needs the blood of a virgin to continue his experiments and sends his assistant to pick out the right girl.

And it’s that ghoul of your dreams on the dance floor at the Halloween Ball as Mondopiece Theatre reviews SORORITY BABES IN THE DANCE-A-THON OF DEATH. Sorority sisters accidentally conjure up a demon that turns one of them into a ghoul that spreads trouble through dancing, (1991)

Join the parties this week for more fiendish fun in the FRIDAY FUN-TIME FIVE on your home for B-movie… and a party at the drop of a head! Beta Max TV!!!

FRIDAY, OCTOBER 13, 2023

FREAKY FRIDAY (THE 13TH) FRIGHTS ON THIS WEEK’S FRIDAY FUN-TIME FIVE!!

Yeah the frights are freaky – and a little fun – for this Friday the 13th’s Beta Max TV FRIDAY FUN-TIME FIVE!!!

The frightful fragrance of this horror potpourri includes vampires, zombies, magic, evil warlords, kung fu, and slapstick as Uncle Pete presents SPOOKY SORCERERS on The Dark Vault Of Public Domain! It’s the 1987 supernatural kung fu thriller – aka – New Mr. Vampire – about two rival sorcerers battling over changing some fresh corpses into vampires and incurring the wrath of an evil warlord, with somewhat comical results. Uncle Pete tries his hand at a little sorcery too!

Mistress Malicious make merry and scary for METHODIC on Mistress Peace Theatre. Mistress has problems with trick or treaters (and eggs) when her friend Grimly eats all the candy while she shows this 2007 indie horror film by Chris R. Notarile.

There are lots of freaky scary people – ghosts, evil spies and even (shudder) musicians in HILLBILLYS IN A HAUNTED HOUSE on The Midnight Movie. Ritch and Triv visit Halloweekend and present this fun horror film about musicians on their way to Nashville getting caught up with spies and ghosts in a haunted house in the hills. (1967)

It’s time for tricks or treats – and especially tricks – for TERROR IN THE WAX MUSEUM on Mansion Of Mystery. Murders around a wax museum have police wondering who the murderer is or if Jack the Ripper has returned after 10 years. While Scarlett and CJ prepare for Halloween, there’s a flood of pranks in the town!

And there’s freaky monsters – mechanical and mummified – on the Cleveland At Nite presentation of THE ROBOT VS. THE AZTEC MUMMY. The Unknown Annoying Comic hosts half of the Mexican horror film about a scientist creating a robot to steal an Aztec treasure guarded by and ancient mummy. Plus skits and fun!

It’s a Friday the 13th full of new and classic creepiness in the FRIDAY FUN-TIME FIVE on your home for B-movies… and luck of the spooky kind! Beta Max TV!!!

FRIDAY, OCTOBER 6, 2023

A CACOPHONOUS COLLECTION OF CREEPINESS AND COMEDY FILLS THIS FIRST WEEK’S FEATURES FOR OUR SPOOKY SCARY MONTH FRIDAY FUN-TIME FIVE!!!

There’s possession, poison, ancient evil, ancient fun and scarriest of all – TELEVISION!!! It’s all here in the Spooky Scary Month’s Beta Max TV FRIDAY FUN-TIME FIVE!!!

There are evil forces on a world tour with a stop in the soul of an unsuspecting newlywed in ABBY on The Dark Vault Of Public Domain! Uncle Pete presents this 1974 blaxploitation horror film about a woman who, soon after her wedding, becomes possessed by evil spirits accidentally released by her father-in-law, who studies pagan African religions. Starring William “Blacula” Marshall (1974). Uncle Pete features some special extras including the latest method for home exorcism!

There’s terror on the tube – and fried food – on Beaucoup Askew’s Fashion Trashin HALLOWEEN SPOOKTACULAR 666. Cinnamon and Diamond take a jaunt to their favorite haunt – Backfats – to celebrate Halloween and get immersed in the latest spookiness on the bar’s TV! Special guests include members of L7, Babes In Toyland, White Zombie, Lunachicks, and Uncle Pete as a yeti!

There’s poison in the air and the universe’s most evil man is behind it in PURPLE DEATH FROM OUTER SPACE on The Midnight Movie. Triv and Ritch bring a Flash Gordon adventure compiled in 1966 starring Buster Crabbe. When earthlings start dying with a purple spot on their head Flash and friends find Ming the Merciless behind the plot and head to Mongo to save the world.

There’s ancient evil on the prowl in the Marquis DeBlood’s SPECIAL HALLOWEEN SPECIAL on The Horror Of It All’s Silent Screams. It’s 2 indie films in a monster movie mini marathon with “The Last Rites of Dr. Van Helsing” and the short film by Sneaky Ghost Films, “Toddler Tar Tar”.

And there’s ancient fun on the runway in TOMB ITMAY CONCERN on Mondopiece Theatre! With Halloween month here, it’s a review of a 1950 comedy short from director W. Merle Connell about 2 archaeologists who discover a couple of burlesque mummies who come to life when the get splashed with magic water!

It’s SPOOKY SCARY MONTH and the spooky, the scary, and the fun are on the loose in the FRIDAY FUN-TIME FIVE on your home for B-movies… and Halloween features all month long! Beta Max TV!!!

FRIDAY, SEPTEMBER 29, 2023

DEADLY ALIENS, MURDERS, TREACHERY, AND LOTS OF LAUGHS – THIS WEEK IN THE FRIDAY FUN-TIME FIVE!!!

Surly sailors, hairy aliens, evil eyes, a laugh-a-minute louse, and a good old-fashioned murder mystery with magic are the tasty treats served up in this week’s Beta Max TV FRIDAY FUN-TIME FIVE!

Dr. Augustus Posterius guest hosts for Freezer Mortis this week for the Formerly Crappics presentation of MUTINY. In this 1952 action film set during the War of 1812, a U.S. Navy captain must transport French gold to the U.S.troops through a British blockade but his shady crew may have other ideas as to where the gold should go. Starring Angela Lansbury.

An ape-like android makes the scene as Hu-mans Ritch and Triv present the 1953 sci-fi film ROBOT MONSTER on The Midnight Movie. A robotic alien monster destroys most of humanity with it’s death ray in its quest to conquer the Earth but 8 people survive and do all they can to stop the alien’s evil plan.

Speaking of evil, the beasties in THE TROLLENBURG TERROR on Mistress Peace Theatre are masters at giving the evil eye! Mistress Malicious, while on an adventure of her own, finds time to show this 1958 sci-fi epic about mysterious giant monsters from a radioactive cloud that trap several people in an observatory in the Swiss Alps. Mistress also winds up stuck in the snowy cold mountains too.

Dave and Juli visit a place filled with odd and interesting things as they announce one feature and show another in The Weirdness Really Bad Movie presentation of THE LAUGH MAKER. In this 1958 Studio One production, Jackie Gleason and Art Carney star in a drama about a writer (Carney) who travels to California to meet a new comic sensation (Gleason) with the intent to write about him but finds that the man who makes people laugh is somewhat of a louse.

And since Dave and Juli mentioned this movie, let’s watch it. DEVIL’S CARGO is a 1948 murder mystery starring actor and magician John Calvert as the well-known, debonair detective The Falcon. Expert sleuth The Falcon is given a key by a man claiming to have committed murder but saying he’ll be acquitted, However, when he’s mysteriously murdered in jail, it’s up to The Falcon to get to the bottom of it all, amidst a few magic tricks.

It’s big name stars, big time entertainment, and a good healthy portion of cheezy special effects in the FRIDAY FUN-TIME FIVE on your home for B-movies… and lotsa good stuff! Beta Max TV!!!

FRIDAY, SEPTEMBER 22, 2023

COPS AND CRITTERS – THIS WEEK IN THE FRIDAY FUN-TIME FIVE!!!

From the deep blue sea to the foggy wastelands of Greece to the streets of New York City – we’ve got wild cops and wilder critters on the loose in this week’s Beta Max TV FRIDAY FUN-TIME FIVE!

Uncle Pete’s on the road and in trouble again for The Dark Vault Of Public Domain presentation of A COP IN DRAG. In this action-packed Italian crime comedy-infused drama, after a victim is found murdered at a transvestite cabaret, a cop must infiltrate the gay community to find the murderer. (1984) Meanwhile, Uncle Pete has a little trouble with the Italian police.

Then, Triv and Ritch take us to shark infested waters for – you guessed it – sharks in MAKO: JAWS OF DEATH on The Midnight Movie. Given a medallion that gives him a psychic connection with sharks, a Vietnam veteran organizes the sharks in a war against the shady scientist and businessman who try to force him to use his power for their benefit. (1976)

Mythical beasties abound – and so does treachery in MEDUSA AGAINST THE SONS OF HERCULES. To avenge his father’s death by the evil Galenore who claimed his throne, Perseus must battle a man-eating dragon and Medusa, the creature that turns men to stone, before he can finally try to challenge Galenore. (1963)

Then it’s a double dose of ’80s cop action as The Cinema Snob checks out DEADLY FORCE and THE BIG SCORE. The Snob reviews two 1983 action films. Deadly Force with Wings Hauser as a cop turned P.I. hunting a serial killer and The Big Score with Fred Williamson as a cop trying to bring down a kingpin drug dealer.

And then, this doggie is anything but a good boy in MONSTER DOG on Screaming Soup. Deadwest looks at the 1984 Alice Cooper movie about a rock star who, returning to his hometown to shoot a video, finds that murders are taking place by a pack of dogs… or perhaps something else.

There’s cops chasing criminals and critters chasing EVERYBODY in this week’s FRIDAY FUN-TIME FIVE on your home for B-movies… and a lot of chasing! Beta Max TV!!!

FRIDAY, SEPTEMBER 15, 2023